B Lunch 12/23/10

Jyodh- "Great...the one day I buy apple juice my mom packs me a full size juicy juice"

Kevin picks up apple juice and grabs juicy juice in order to compare size, squeezing the juicy juice and spilling the contents on the table

*awkward silence*

Kevin- "Oops. I forgot my gas laws for a second there"

12/20/10 Set 1 Free

Neil reading "My Lute Awake"

Neil- "What the heck's a Lute?"

Zach- "It's an instrument"

pause

Kevin- "It's what Pirates do..."



Kevin-"ha"

ANOTHER NEW BLOGGER

Please give another metaphorical round of applause for another new blogger, Jake "Jal-wel (kal-lel)" Wellens!

NEW BLOGGER, 12/14/10

Because Neil has been soooooo lazy, we have a new blogger!
Please give a round of metaphorical applause to Tom "the Meatman" Fischer!

11/29, C lunch

Kevin: ...bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz

11/29, A lunch

Me: I have 1337 emails and 1337 spam. HURRY SOMEONE BUZZ 1000 TIMES

Kevin: bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz bzzzz....

11/26, Thanksgiving, Twitter: Neil Continues to be Lazy

Gah....I spelled Wall-e incorrectly

11/19, gmail

I'm so funny I don't even try and I make references to things:

 I can just imagine the joke now:

Random Person: So what's the size of your document?
Kevin: It's, ya know, about the size of a retirement fund.

11/16, Set 8 Math

Me: Did you guys know that Mrs. Garvin's first name is "Line"?

Kevin: Are you lyin?

...



...


to me?

Neil is so Lazy. Also, 11/3, Facebook

Sorry for the lack of updates. Blame Neil.
Enjoy!

Some cool numbers

If you look at the pageview numbers, 3 of them are perfect squares, and one of them is prime...
Okay, that's all I had.

10/26, Twitter

Twitter is turning out to be quite the goldmine for Kev-isms

10/26, Set 1 Free

Kevin: I'm hungry.

Me: Nice to meet you, I'm Neil.

Kevin: I meant I'm from Hungary...

Tom: So you know Abel?

Kevin: Like...
Nobel Prize?
Like...
Alexander Graham Bell?

10/26, Twitter

1337 views

WOOOOOT

This is a post just to commemorate having reached 1337 views.
That's SO Kevin; it's CLASSIC Kevin.

10/21/10, Set 1 Free

Me: Winter is conditioning.

Kevin: You mean...
conditioner?

10/20, Set 1 Free

Talking about couples.

Me: That's so hot.

Tom: So steamy.

Kevin: Were they in the boiler room?

10/20, Set 1 Free

Me: You know what's great?

Kevin: The escape. The wall of China. The Gatsby. There must be a war or something....

Kevin's Klassics: 10/17

Today's Klassic: November 17, 2009

My gmail status: This English essay is astonishingly hard to write

Kevin: more like anglo-ishing
because anglo=english

Kevin's Klassics: 10/16

Hello everyone. Neil Brett Zhang here. In light of the recent lack of regular updates (to which i blame the school servers), I have decided to start something i like to call "Kevin's Klassics". Every day I will post a vintage Kevin Lu comment, joke, or picture from the past along with the normal updates. This should ensure some regularity to posting. Hopefully.

Today's Klassic: May 18, 2010







CLASSIC KEVIN

10/13, Twitter

1000 views!

Hello, my readers, we've surpassed 1000 views!

And since Neil is too lazy to update (go bother him about that), here's another retrospective post as gratitude for the success of "The Funniest Man Alive".


During a Frisbee Scrimmage
Neil: Kevin, go complete the rectangle to make the end zone
Kevin: But Neil...I'd rather complete...the square.


During Physics Last Year, when Webassign Replaced their Web Servers
Kevin: Webassign...just got SERVED


My Story (I was the Narrator) for a Facebook Game of Mafia between my Math Camp Friends
So, this is a story, all about how,
This kid's life got flipped, turned upside down,
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how he died in a town called Bel Air

In Beijing, China, born and raised,
On a computer was where he spent most of his days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all programmin' some C inside of school

When one boring day,
He was up to no good
Started stealin' wi-fi in his neighborhood

He hacked one little server and his ISP got scared
They said 'We'll only give you service in a town called Bel Air'

He begged and pleaded with them day after day
But they cut off his connection and sent him on his way

They gave him a warning and then they gave him his ticket.
He packed up his macbook and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is fast
Gettin' high speed internet and havin' a blast.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait, he hears someone pulling up to his place
He goes to the door and they pump bullets into his face
Now I'm sure you've all guessed who's the victim now
The mafia just straight up whacked Herman Chau

10/11, Academic Advisory with Stettner

Dan: It's like a slug.

Kevin: ...Like a...
pokemon...
slugma!

10/6, A Lunch

David: You know I'm probably the most trustworthy white person you know.

Kevin: You know who was the most trustworthy white person I ever knew...?
*SMILES*
*Lifts $5 Bill*
Honest Abe

A Blast from the Past

To my viewers---Sorry for the recent lack of jokes. My scribe, Neil, was out sick today (SEND HIM GET WELL CARDS EVERYONE). Instead, I will be releasing a series of retrospective jokes. Enjoy!

Sometime Before Prom Last Year at Ben's House:
Someone: Hey, we should go to General Wayne!
Tom: Yeah, but it'd take too long to get there...
Sam: ...and back...
.....
Kevin: ....again, a Hobbit's Tale


Regarding Math Club Fund Raising:
Kevin: We should sell CIRCULAR Silly Bands!!


A chat with our very own Ben Edelman (Doomsday):

9:09 PM me: yo

  what's your

  sched like?

9:12 PM Doomsday: hold

 me: like on an ipod?

  where you move the switch over

  ?

  and it turns all orange?

9:13 PM and nothing works?

  Until you move the switch over again?

  Is that what you want me to do?

  on my ipod?

  right?

  am I getting it?

9:16 PM ben?

  ben?

  ben?

9:17 PM Doomsday: wait hold

 me: so, just to be clear

  you want me to get my ipod out

  and flip that hold switch?

9:20 PM actually

  I'm pretty sure it's already on hold

9:21 PM it prevents me from, you know, inadvertently touching it and wasting battery

  in short

  I'm already holding

5 minutes

9:26 PM me: that's probably not the hold you meant

9:27 PM it's just that you're a bit ambiguous sometimes

  you probably meant a hold like in American Football

9/29, Gmail Statuses

Neil's Status: prattttttt
Kevin's Status: what are you prattling about neil?

Logo

Hey Guys!
This post does not contain a joke (sort of),
Instead, I'd just like to thank Ben for that wonderful logo on his blog

Oddly enough, the version on his website has a knife through the heart, but clearly, his version was accidentally photoshopped through a random assortment of mouse clicks.
(GOOD ONE KEVIN)

9/29, Set 1 Free

Me: I wrote NA for an answer.

Kevin: You should have written SODIUM!
HAHAHAHHAAHAHHHAAHAHAH!

9/28, Set 1 Free with Tom

Tom: I need to figure out what kicker I'm starting.

Kevin: Make sure he starts out on the right foot...
you know with picking his kickers...
...
What if you told a kicker to break a leg before a game?

Tom: Go to hell Kevin.

9/27, Chemistry Lab Gmail Thread

 Jake emails the lab over with the subject "Labby"

Kevin looks over the lab and emails it back....subject "Retriever"

9/25, My facebook wall

Me: Neil Brett Zhang has way too much hair

Yukuan: yeah, i've been getting reports about your excessive hair length.

Kevin: yeah, i've also been getting reports about your excessive hare length.

9/23, Set 8 Math

Me: something about laughing so hard I can't control myself.

Kevin: Couldn't press the...
ctrl key?

9/23, Set 1 Free in Library

Zach: I accidentally typed in "logspot.com"

Kevin: Starts laughing
Logspot...
Is that like a place for...
Logarithms?

9/23, Set 1 Free with Tom

Kevin: So we're getting some fud...
some food...
some fud...
like Elmer Fudd, or Elmer's glue...

later...

Kevin: If a raisin is a dried grape...
then a craisin is a dried crêpe....

9/22/10, 11:42, Set 8 Math-B Lunch

Talking about this blog:

Kevin: It will be like gossip girl...
...
LAUGHS FOR LIKE A MINUTE
...
but with jokes

9/22/10, 11:08, Set 8 Math

In class, we were talking about histograms.

Kevin: There is a lot of service here...
...
because of the bars.

9/22/10, 9:36 AM, Set 1 Free

Kevin: COPPER you guys later.
...
it's like CU

9/22/10, 9:28 AM, Set 1 Free

Me: My neck is sore.
Kevin: You should get a... pillow.
...
Pillar